I find that a Monopoly board accurately displays the game of hooking-up. In both games, you decide to play, you pick your pawn, you start at GO, and you strategize a win. However, unlike in Monopoly, in the game of hooking-up you need to know where you're valued on the board. This is very important. Because in this game there is no rolling of the dice or flipping of cards to maneuver you on the board. (Imagine that you are a little person walking on the board, starting at GO) So ask yourself: Am I Boardwalk...or Am I Oriental Avenue? It is imperative that you know your value because this knowledge will keep you out of jail, away from paying income tax, and closer to passing GO and collecting $200. SO LET'S GET STARTED!!!
RULES OF THE GAME:
1. PICK YOUR PAWN:
will you flash your RACECAR, entice others by wearing a TOP HAT, or lure them in with a DOG? Like in monopoly you use a pawn to help you on your quest. PAWN: a peon, or in other words a powerless person; often used to describe someone or something that is used or manipulated. Why not? If you got the Aston Martin bring that bad boy out. It will only increase your stock. (Don't hate the player, hate the game)
2. UNDERSTAND THE 4 QUADRANTS OF THE BOARD:
One must fully understand the 4 quadrants of people and their values for two reasons: (1) you need to know where to classify people so that you know their expectations (2) you need to know where to classify yourself so you know what to expect...know your boundaries and limitations.
-Q1: Mediterranean Avenue to Connecticut Avenue: Those who fall in this quadrant tend to be peoples' last resort. They're what's left over at the end of the night. They linger around, hope you're drunk enough, and take just about anything that comes their way. They're available, cheap, no standards for the buyer, an agent is completely unnecessary, and you don't have to go very far to obtain this person. My Advice: if you're in Q1 then stick to what you know; it's probably best to let someone hit on you; and try not to take it personally...you're not fully to blame for your unfortunate classification.
-Q2: St. Charles Place to New York Avenue: Q2 is what I consider to be the generic quadrant. This is your generic male and female...nothing exciting. Whether it be their personality, looks, style, job, whatever it is they just don't stand out. People actually tend to notice Q1 more than Q2 (but not because of a positive reaction). Most people frolic in this quadrant...in varying degrees...but the vast majority of people are Q2ers. Relatively inexpensive, standard, you really just need decent credit to grab up one of these. My Advice: if you're in Q2 then you're not completely an unfortunate victim, so maybe see what you can do increase your stock. Now I'm not saying you'll be able to leap up to Q3...but maybe you'll be a more distinguished Q2...perhaps a Q2 1/2...(sky's the limit right)
-Q3: Kentucky Avenue to Marvin Gardens: Here we go, now we're in the game. Quality starts here. Those in Q3 stand out for one reason or another. They're alluring, interesting, distinguishable, and of value (to mankind). The test to determine if you're a Q3er: there is a magnetic quality to you and people will be drawn to you. Not your friends and family. I mean the general public will feel your force. They don't come cheap. Those in Q3 pick their buyer, set their price, and evict without notice. My Advice: Q1s and Q2s...don't hurt yourself. But if you're another Q3 or Q4 then go for it confidently...because a Q3 knows that there is still a step above them. Their bark is bigger than their bite. Q3s do have the opportunity to rise to a Q4.
-Q4: Pacific Avenue to Boardwalk: HELLO! If you're a Q4 then you know who you are and we know who you are. Very few make it to Q4...and at that, there are varying levels within Q4. They're unattainable, not for sale, immaculate people. Men and Women envy those in Q4. They usually only frolic in their quadrant. My Advice: BUYER BEWARE!
3. CHANCE SPACES:
You will encounter CHANCE in the game. This is the time where you will have to weigh risk vs. reward...this is where you will have to take a gamble. You have the option here to remain at the level you have progressed to on the board OR you can take the chance and try for the next level. However, should the next level not be obtainable you may risk losing the place you were at, get stuck with nothing...or worse have to take the leftovers. The choice is yours, and yours alone.
4. JAIL
Jail is anything that could go wrong. Any position that you find yourself in that you don't want to be in...that's jail.
5. FREE PARKING:
If you make it to free parking then take it. Cause paying for parking fucking sucks. So you didn't pass Go or collect $200. Get over it. Enjoy the Free Parking.
6. WHO'S THE WINNER?:
Great question. In this game there is no specific winner. You determine your success in the game. It's all about strategy.
QUICK TIPS:
1. determine your value so that you are not overvaluing nor undervaluing yourself
2. take a chance
3. if the chance fails, don't take them anymore
4. stay away from Reading Railroad...weird shit happens there
5. if you're Oriental Avenue and you get the opportunity to make it to Boardwalk (if you get the chance to hook up with someone out of your league) - don't get cocky, don't get nervous, get confident and GO GET IT. Also, make sure to see all that Boardwalk has to offer because it's only a short vacation.
