The Ejaculation Rationale Theory

So some may say that there is this chemical reaction that takes place in a woman's body when she has sex with someone for the first time. I tend to disagree. Actually I completely disagree. Women are completely and totally chemically imbalanced as it is anyways. I think the real explanation for the "Stage 5 clinger" is what I call "The Ejaculation Rationale Theory."

It goes as follows: When a guy likes a girl, they JUST want to sleep with her, period end of story. It is as simple as that. If you think otherwise then you're foolishly mistaken, and you my dear are the reason why men think women are crazy. So just stop, wake-up, and GET WITH THE PROGRAM because you are fucking all of us! So back to my point. When a guy likes a girl he is going to do anything and everything in his power to have sex with her, and most of the time he is not going to stop until he does. It's that "animal instinct" in them...or whatever the fuck you want to call it. The guy is going to say whatever, do whatever, and act however he has to. The desperate girl is going to just go home with the guy the second he shows her any attention. Guys you better hope that she is blackout because otherwise you are going to be dealing with a nut job. Any girl that sleeps with a guy right after meeting him (again unless totally blackout) is desperate and going to stalk you, so get ready. The other girl is going to play the whole "I'm not going to sleep him right away and make him work for it" game.So the theory continues. Before the first ejaculation most women are "rational" they won't sleep with the guy because they know that he just wants sex. They know that the shit he is saying is bull shit and he really probably does not even know what he is saying. The guy on the other hand just wants to sleep with the girl. So he texts her, and feeds her all the bull shit to get her in bed. So it's now 2 weeks later and the girl decides to sleep with him because its not 1940 and we aren't Morman.So unless you're Amish or have aids or something welcome to the wonderful world of sex. She's so happy she waited...right. Intercourse takes place and upon ejaculation bada bing bada boom roles reverse. The irrational guy who was saying things he definitely did not mean and the rational girl who was holding out until he was "worthy" of sex have now switched spots within a matter of seconds. The girl is now completely and totally irrational. "Oh I'm so glad I waited now he respects me and this is going to be great. We are in love." The guy on the other hand is rational, "Why the fuck did that take so long. Finally, she was beginning to drive me nuts. She better not expect to cuddle," etc.

Biggest lesson learned: The guy is not going after you per se they are going after the chase, the unattainable. Ladies if a guy likes you he WILL LET YOU KNOW. Please please stop with the whole, "well he said he was going to call me but he got really busy, and then he had to cancel because he napped too long and his phone went dead while he was napping. However, I was the first person he said hi to when he walked in tonight so he MUST still like me." Oh and please stop showing up places where they are. Trust me they know why you are there and you just look ridiculous. Same goes for guys, but men look even more pathetic. At least we know women are nuts. Moral of the story or theory is don't be an idiot.